Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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