just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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