yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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