Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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