he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
