his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
