Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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