i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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