The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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