She just used a chaser for red wine.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
