very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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