You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
