I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
