i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
