I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
