How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I color on your dick again?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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