You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
