I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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