when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
