Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
this just has baby written all over it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
