need another drink. this is the easiest way
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
