Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
