I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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