But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
