I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think my moral compass just broke
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
