Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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