It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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