he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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