evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just had sex on a roof
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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