I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
