Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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