Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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