I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
