you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
