This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Panties = found
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
