That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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