After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
