she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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