He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize