so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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