last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
