im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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