you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
