I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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