Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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