Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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