Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You took a bar mat shot.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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