he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
