WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
