Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
