You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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