you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
