my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
