How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
