Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
