i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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