i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
