Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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