I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
