I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
